Relationships

All humans have an inner urge to be connected - to living and even non-living things. And this urge makes us get into relationships. However silly it might sound, we do have relationships with our homes, cars, watches and other things, the most important of which is money. That is why we always try to be in control of these things, take care and cherish them.

On a more personal level, we also have relationships with other people – be it our spouse, children, parents, friends or colleagues. And similar to the relationships with inanimate things, we always want to be in control and take care of the other person, while cherishing their company.

The complexities and challenges faced by personal relationships is what make humans distinct from other species.

It is human tendency to get deeper and deeper into relationships and get attached to other people. The base root of all relationships is love – literally. However, the love that makes relationships also breaks them. Commonly, too much love for a particular person leads to attachment and the urge to have total control over the other person. And human nature also makes one expect the same from that other person.

Love in the truest sense means taking the minimum and giving the maximum. But when this equation becomes imbalanced – giving the maximum and taking (expecting) the maximum as well, problems start cropping up. We start antagonizing the same person whom we had loved so much. What a paradox!

So, how do we maintain excellent long-term relationships with our near and dear ones?

Just need to follow one simple mantra – accept the people we love, as they are and not try to control or change them. We have to understand that everyone is unique and everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.

These things might sound simple and clichéd to some people. But just think about it. Problems arise in relationships only because we forget this fact from time to time.

Most of us are selfish in most parts of our lives. However, when it comes to relationships, we ought to be selfless. (Note: This does not apply to business relationships or those in which money is involved!)


Warm regards,
Team Ashni

Smartness

Most people think that only some people are ‘lucky’ to get opportunities to succeed. But luck is an often misinterpreted term. It is smartness that actually makes people successful. Smartness here means much more than the way we dress, the way we talk or the number of educational degrees we hold.

Smartness is the ability to be aware and capable enough to capitalize on every opportunity that comes our way. Smartness is the ability to be at the right place at the right time, and with the right guidance. If we analyze the lives of successful people, we will realize that all of them have been smart enough to grab opportunities that changed their life.

How can we be smart enough to succeed?

There has probably been more than one occasion where you heard about someone who has made it big and told yourself, "I could have done that as well." Opportunities are always out there. It takes knowledge and awareness to identify, conviction and persistence to exploit.

Knowledge: In whatever profession we are, we should gain in-depth knowledge about every aspect involved. We should be the master of our trade.

Awareness: Once we have gained the knowledge, awareness will help us identify opportunities. To gain awareness, we should keep ourselves up-to-date with the latest happenings in our profession, as well as in general. We should be able to relate happenings with opportunities.

Conviction: We should then develop the conviction to pursue the opportunities that we think are right. We have to believe in ourselves and our goals. Strive to achieve them with passion and diligence.

Persistence: This is one word that has been used many times in articles. Our road to success will more often than not, be accompanied with challenges. Only conviction and persistence can overcome challenges.

The combination of the above four attributes culminates into smartness, which leads to success. And no one is born smart. We can always learn to be smart and grab life by the horns!


Warm regards
Team Ashni

Discipline

Discipline in life takes us to the highest level of living possible. Discipline in short, is consciously doing the right thing at the right time, every time. Initially, it might seem difficult, but once it becomes a habit, the results will be remarkable.

Discipline can help us gain knowledge, maintain physical fitness and also build character, which ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life and enhances relationships. It can keep our mind under control and develop positive thinking, which would dramatically improve our confidence level and productivity.

How can we become disciplined?

Through focus and persistent efforts.

Focus: To make ourselves disciplined, we should to focus on particular aspects for which we wish to be disciplined. For example, if we want to make our day effective and optimize time utilized for various activities, we need to focus on planning ourselves. If we want to maintain our physical fitness, we need to work out or do yoga religiously everyday.

Persistent Efforts: Once we decide what aspects we need to focus on, we have to make persistent efforts towards the goal we wish to accomplish. It takes hard work to become disciplined. But the hard work is only for a short duration of time – at the beginning.

Success outside begins with success on inside. And the inside story always starts with discipline and self control. Discipline will also help us realize and tap into our vast potential, rewarding us with success and happiness.

Warm regards
Team Ashni

The Human Mind

The human mind can and has performed miracles when correctly trained and conditioned for excellence. But the vast potential of the human mind generally remains untapped because most people have not cultivated, explored and challenged themselves.

It has been found that even the most conditioned thinkers exploit only about 25% of the potential of their minds. On the other hand, Indian yogis living high up in Himalayas are known to have disciplined their mind to an extent that they can control their so-called involuntary body processes like heart beat, digestion and nervous functioning!

How can we exploit the potential of our mind?

Through self-awareness, discipline and determination.

Self-awareness: We have to know and understand ourselves – our strengths and weaknesses, abilities and limitations, dreams and aspirations – where we are and where we want to go.

Discipline: We have to build on our strengths/abilities and consciously work to overcome our weaknesses/limitations. This involves disciplined hard work – a sharp focus and persistent efforts in one direction.

Determination: Determination implies being strong willed, resolute and committed towards our goals, no matter what the circumstances and challenges are. We have to believe in ourselves and our ability to achieve our dreams, however big they are. Nothing should shake us.

Tip: The combination of yoga, meditative techniques and breath control would go a long way in making our journey shorter!

If we master our mind, we master our life. When we master our life, we master our destiny.

Warm regards

Team Ashni

‘Happy’ ‘New’ Year!

Why do we have a ‘New’ Year every year after 31 December? Is it not just another year?

And why do we wish everyone ‘Happy New Year’ on this day? Is anyone in control of their happiness?
2008 was a year that most people would want to erase from their lives. The sub-prime crisis in USA aggravated into a financial crisis – that destroyed billions and billions of dollars, decimated companies and caused a full-blown global recession. The terrorist attacks in major Indian cities, the final one being Mumbai – that took so many lives. And to wrap it up, the current Israeli attacks on Gaza – that have killed people and caused destruction.
Will 2009 be a ‘New’ Year or just another year? And will it be a ‘Happy’ one?
Well, it all depends on us.

‘New’ – Going by the literal meaning, a ‘New’ Year means a fresh year. Simply, a ‘New’ Year is a fresh beginning. A fresh opportunity. 8,760 hours lie before us - all unused. If we want to achieve something, we should plan out this time and create a road-map, which will help us reach our goals – or ‘New’ Year Resolutions as they are called!

But just making resolutions is not enough. We need to set real, practical goals that would give tangible results. Create a strategy to reach them. Set our own deadlines. Monitor our progress – make changes to our strategy if things are not working. Tackle challenges. Improve. Work hard. And by 31 December 2009, we will be glad to know that we have accomplished our goals!

‘Happy’ – Pleasure is physical and short-lived. On the other hand, happiness is thought to be the result of achieving or acquiring something. True. But we won’t achieve things everyday. We won’t buy good stuff everyday. Does that mean we will not be happy everyday? No.

If we think about it, our life broadly revolves around three main aspects – on which our happiness also depends:

§ Money: Making money is a necessity to survive. Whether we are working with an organization or doing business, we need to ensure that we are doing our best – exploiting our potential to the fullest and capitalizing on all opportunities present. Make the right moves. Seek advice from experienced people if required. Invest wisely. If all this is done, money will keep flowing in and we will be able to acquire and achieve.

§ Relationships: Good relationships with everyone at work, at home and outside are a must. Good relationships make us feel connected and support us at all times. And making a relationship ‘good’ is not difficult. A little understanding and acceptance of the fact that everyone is different would help a lot. Good relationships within our family also keep us peaceful and un-guilty, enhancing our effectiveness at work.

§ Personal Growth: Personal growth is achieved through learning and uplifting our spiritual self. Most people find this too heavy or boring. This is simply because the concept of personal growth can usually be understood only after we have accomplished a certain level in the first two aspects – money and relationships. But if we want to grow faster, we can well focus on this aspect simultaneously with the other two. All it needs is a little time. Spiritual upliftment is possible through gaining spiritual knowledge, doing community-service and through yoga, meditation.

Happiness is actually a feeling of satisfaction and peace. And it is possible to have this feeling at all times. If we whole-heartedly focus on the three aspects mentioned above, we would be able to get the feeling of satisfaction and peace every moment. In effect, we would be ‘Happy’ every moment!

So, let’s make a new beginning and make every moment happy.

‘Happy’ ‘New’ Year!

Warm regards

Team Ashni

Faith

There was a village, which received very scanty rainfall. But in one particular year, there was no rain at all. Fortunately, the villagers had some water reserves with which they managed to survive.

Shockingly, there was no rain the next year as well. This caused tremendous distress to the villagers and many of them died without water.

One day, a great saint was passing by the village. All villagers came to him for blessings and advice on how they should face the severe drought taking place. He saw the suffering of the people and explained to them the power of prayer. He asked them to surrender their misery to the Almighty.

Seeing no other alternative, they decided to obey the saint. All villagers sincerely started gathering every morning for prayer. They prayed with complete faith and surrendered their misery to the Almighty.

After a few days, a young boy came running towards the villagers...holding an umbrella and jumping with joy. He started shouting that it’s going to rain...he had seen dark clouds coming towards the village.

And it rained!

What this simple story teaches us is that if we have complete faith in the Almighty, we will be able to achieve whatever we want to. If we are pursuing a dream, we should do it with faith. Have faith during both the good times and bad times. Things will eventually fall into place. The time when things fall into place, could be different for different people.

But come what may, the time always comes.

Warm regards
Team Ashni

Peace

Last week’s terrorist attack in Mumbai shows that there is still a long way to go before India and even the entire world can become a peaceful place to live in. Ruthless killing of innocent people by juvenile lunatics proves that the concept of peace is too complicated to be understood by all.

Peace will prevail when everything and everyone is in harmony; there are no differences or conflicts. But the fact is that differences and conflicts are a part of life. When people take differences to an extreme, it gives birth to hatred which leads to violence.

Differences in religion, beliefs and even relationships are case in point. When people take differences in religion to an extreme, they become terrorists. When a husband and wife take their differences to an extreme, it results in a divorce. When nations go to an extreme with their differences, they go to war.

In a world of differences, how can we live peacefully?

By being peaceful outside and inside!

Peaceful outside: Peaceful outside means being peaceful in our relationships. When there are differences or conflicts, just stop to think. Look at things logically and understand the consequences of the differences. Differences are always destructive. Don’t let your ego rule your better self. Think – is it worth it? Think “so what”? One should learn to just let go and forget about it. Look at the positive aspects of things. And see how peace prevails.

Peaceful inside: Being peaceful inside is also a very important thing. Only when you are peaceful inside, can you be peaceful outside. To be peaceful from within, we should not let negative thoughts rule our self. Just kill thoughts of jealousy and hatred. Control your ego. Do some yoga and meditation. Look at the broader picture. Always remain calm and collected, come what may. (This might sound too idealistic, but just reflect on it. If carefully applied, it would change our lives!)

Have you observed a forest or an ocean? There are thousands of species (different animals, fishes) living in harmony. They don’t fight with each other. Then why can’t humans, who are much more evolved than animals, live together peacefully?

Ponder on this thought for a while. And see if what has been mentioned above makes sense.

Tonight, before we sleep, let us spare 3 minutes of our precious time to pray for those who have lost their lives in the terrorist attacks in Mumbai. Pray for giving strength to those who have lost their loved ones. And pray for world peace so that such incidents are not repeated.

Warm regards

Team Ashni

Goals

An arrow is useless without a target, a journey is pointless without a destination and life is worthless without goals.

Just like everything in this world is built for a purpose, our own life should be guided by goals. What is the point of putting efforts into anything, if you don’t know what you want or where you want to go?

Today, before you go to sleep, take time out to think. Think about your dreams. Think about what you really want to do in life. Think about how you can make a difference in this world. And once you get the answers, set goals for yourself.

Goals can be anything – making X amount of money, reaching Y position in an organization, being a successful entrepreneur, getting famous, doing community service, etc. Set goals for the long-term and then, formulate short-term goals which will help you reach the long-term ones. And then, all you would need to do to reach these goals is be smart and work hard.

Setting goals help us in two ways:

Direction: Goals give direction to our life. Make us work for a reason. And help us achieve what we want. Short-term goals are a road-map to accomplish long-term goals.

Focus: Goals help us remain focused and prioritize. Often, we tend to forget what we should be doing and fritter away time in doing things that are fruitless and in some cases, detrimental and harmful. Whenever we feel lost, we should just read our goals to get back on track. If circumstances are not as desired, we can modify our short-term goals and work towards them.

Goals give us a reason to wake up every morning. We should make it a point to write down our goals and read them every day to remind and motivate ourselves. Then, we should have faith and confidence in our ability to accomplish them. And of course, have the determination to continue in spite of challenges.

If our mind can think of it, we certainly have the ability to do it!

Warm regards

Team Ashni

Life

Life is a treasure and there is much more to it than we know about.

There are good times and there are not-so-good times. In the not-so-good times, we tend to perceive things in a negative manner, and the world appears to be a hopeless place. Such times could be when something unfavorable happens – like illness, loss of a loved one or financial losses. But as time passes, things settle down and we start feeling better and positive, and the world becomes more livable.

If you think about it, our thoughts and feelings inside make the world outside.

How can we be positive at all times?

By having courage and knowing the temporary nature of all things.

Courage: We are all positive in good times. But the challenge is to remain so during the not-so-good times. To tackle unfavorable situations, we need to have courage. We should be willing to walk across the fear, overcome it and reach our goals. Also, the understanding that pain and adversity are powerful means for personal growth will help us maintain our balance during tough times.

All things are temporary: Everything is temporary and transient. Time is the biggest healer. As time passes, things have to change – for the better. This should be our driving force and a source of inspiration and hope. This understanding will keep us going.

Good things always come to those who wait. Wait, but work hard relentlessly towards your goals. Stay positive at all times, have the courage to face the not-so-good times and know that all things are temporary. And our goals will become reality.

Warm regards

Team Ashni

Self

If we wish to change our circumstances, we must change our self first. If we wish to lead a team or organization, we should learn to lead our self first.

When we learn to manage our self in the best possible manner, people around us will automatically follow us, and with a combination of some other attributes, success will follow us as well. In short, self mastery is the DNA of life mastery.

How can we be in control of our self?

By controlling our thoughts and being responsible for our results.

Thoughts: The human mind is dynamic - thousands of thoughts come and go every day. Controlling thoughts implies being positive, in the present and focusing on the task in hand. Of course we should not lose sight of our goals, but being positive and in the present (and not in the past or future) will greatly enhance our efficiency and effectiveness, thus optimizing the results of our actions.

Responsibility: We are responsible for everything that happens in our life. Think about it. If some of us are not as successful as we deserve to be, it is because we have not been smart enough to capitalize on opportunities. Knowing that we are responsible increases our awareness and makes us think before we act. While we are responsible, we should also not forget that we have the power to overcome all challenges in life and achieve our goals. This wisdom will keep us going.

Being positive, focused and responsible will help us reach our goals much faster.

Warm regards

Team Ashni